MORE CROWN THAN GLORY

September 2018–It is written in the bible and often said, ” a woman’s hair is her crowning glory…”  For the past few years, I have been in a struggle to keep my hair–the hair that actually grows from my head.  Do to issues I have encountered in life, my hair is ultra thin in some areas an nearly gone in others.  Women in particular, suffer hair lose for numerous reasons,  hormonal, stress, alopecia, illness, medicinal side effects, etc.

When I first noticed my hair loss, I was getting ready to go to work one morning, doing my hair as usual.  I used a hand mirror to check the back and discovered to my horror a gaping bald spot.  I screamed and my husband came running to see what was wrong.  I showed him and asked if he had noticed it.  To my dismay he said yes, but he didn’t tell me because he knew I would be upset.  I WAS terribly upset and LIVID with anger that he had not told me.  It meant that I had probably been going to work and other places with an obvious BALD spot in my head for who knows how long!

I quickly changed my hairstyle to cover the area and went to work.  I was stressed all day and made an appointment with my doctor. Though  medication has helped, my hair is still thin in some areas. I have also been using natural products and have seen some progress!

Mind you, throughout the years, I have known women who struggled with hair loss due to chemotherapy and alopecia, and have even helped them deal with the emotional turmoil of baldness.  I have been wig shopping with my mom and friends and scarf and hat shopping to find things that go with different outfits and moods, but when it actually happened to me I not only sympathized with them, I felt the deepest empathy!  The distress I felt was akin to the death of a best friend.

As the years have passed, I still struggle with thin hair and how to style it to make it look more voluminous.  I resist the temptation to wear wigs because they are just so darn uncomfortable, itchy and hot!  More so, I haven’t found anything that looks like “me”.

Coming to terms with hair loss was difficult, but over the years, it’s become easier.  As women, we sometimes base our worth on what the “outside” looks like, rather than what’s “inside” our heads. Whether or not my hair is long, short, or shaved low, I am still me–witty, charming, and  strong.

**UPDATE**

Today (June 10, 2019) After months of struggle, I finally made the decision yesterday (Sunday) to let go of my “crowning glory”.  I told my husband this is the day and got his clippers from the bathroom.  He didn’t believe I was actually going to shave my head completely free of hair.  I went into by bathroom and about 30 minutes later came out looking pretty cute, but without my hair.   The look on his face was priceless and then he smiled and said, I was still the most beautiful woman in the world.  Oh, what a wonderful man!

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